The Secret And Most Mysterious World Of Girls
by Sneakernet
Summary: About Remus, Sirius, James, and Lily. James comes up with a wacky plan to get Lily to like him (turned out very good)
1. Chapter One

The Secret and Most Mysterious World Of Girls  
  
Disclaimer-Why do we even bother to do this? *Shakes head* Of course, I own everyone! I rule the world, I am God, and you must all bow down to me!  
  
Summarry-About Remus, Sirius, James, and Lily. James comes up with a wacky(No, i mean, this is 10.10 on the crazy  
  
scale) plan to get Lily to like him. Will it work? (Inspired by Mrs. Doubtfire and Boy Meets World)  
  
I dunno if anyone will like this, or read this, but oh well, who cares. And for those who havent read my stories before, in all my fics  
  
Peter spontaniuosly died over the summer.~  
  
James, Sirius, and Remus lay under the big oak tree by the Hogwarts lake, James stealing anxious glances at the girls some 100 feet away,  
  
particuarly the one in the center, a feisty red-head with startling green eyes. Now that the boys had entered 5th year, James liked Lily Evans more  
  
than ever. He watched as she turned her head and her hair swung out. "Hullo, Jamie?" He heard Sirius chide. He relunctanly came back to reality and   
  
sat up. "Leave her alone, she'll like you in time." He said. James, a bit embarrassed, muttered under his breath and leaned back against the tree. Moony,  
  
on his left, sat up and stroked the front part of his hair like he always did when he was thinking. He quickly stopped as he saw Vitawny, his girlfriend  
  
of two years, approach. "Hi guys," She said, sitting down. The four spent the rest of the hour chatting about this and that. They had a week off for   
  
holiday and they had nothing to do. So, naturally, they tried to think of something to do.  
  
Remus suggested coloring the post owls gryffindor colors. They had already done that. After several more fruitless suggestions the went up to the  
  
common room to sit by the fire. "Vitawny," James asked. "Yeh?" she elbowed him. "Your'e a girl." "Thanks for noticing." "No, I mean, your'e a girl, so  
  
you should know this. What do you like a guy for?" She tousled Remus's hair in answer. "I mean, how do you get a guy to like you?" She raised her   
  
eyebrows. "No, no!" He said, exhasperated. "Lily!" "Ah. I see... She hates you! Erm, no, well, you could try to be nicer to Snively?" James and Sirius looked  
  
at each other. "Naw," They choursed. "Well, just wait and see, mabey she'll like you someday." The group disbanded and went up to bed, James  
  
rather dissapointed.  
  
The next morning James woke up early. He had had the strangest dream last night. Remus and Sirius had dressed up like girls an had tried to figure  
  
Lily out. How odd... He thought. I wonder why I dreamed that.... He suddenly shot straight out of bed. That could work!!!!  
  
He dressed and rushed down into the common room. He wanted to talk to Vitawny. He rushed for the stairs to the girls dormitory, but stopped  
  
short, remembering what had happened in third year when Sirius had tried to steal the girl's pillows. He would just have to wait 'til she came down....  
  
He sat by the fire, waiting. After a few minutes she walked down the steps, and over to James, who had zoned out starting into the fire thinking   
  
how it reminded him of Lily's hair. She poked him and he jumped and turned around. "Hi!" "Hi," she said, sitting down on the floor. "I had the weirdest   
  
dream last night..." he said. "Really? Me too!" "You first," he said, his mind jumping at the thought they could have had the same dream. But to his  
  
dissapointment she launched into a dream about how Pok'emon had taken over the world and stolen all the iceboxes. James pretending to be listening  
  
until she was done. "Interesting." he said. "Wait til' you hear mine." He told her about his dream, how Remus and Sirius had pretended to be girls,  
  
made friends with Lily, and found out why Lily didnt like him so he could change. Then he had woken up, and thought mabey it really could work....  
  
"What'dya think? Could it work?" He asked, excitment in his hazel eyes. She stared back at him with her own brown ones, her mouth hanging open.  
  
"Using logic, NO. But with the Marauders, mabey." "Will you help us?" "Us? How do you know Rem and Sirius will actaully be willing participants?"  
  
"They will.... trust me. There's a something called blackmail...." James grinned manically. "You WOULDNT!" Vitawny sarcastically gasped. "Oh but  
  
I would...." James laughed evily. Vitawny stuck her thumb over her shoulder and pointed at Sirius and Remus, who were coming down the steps  
  
from the boys dormitory. "Morning!" Vitawny called, turning around and waving at the two. They both yawned in answer and sat down on the couch.  
  
"Hey guys, I had the weirdest dream last night!" Sirius looked at him, waiting for him to tell it. He told then all about it. Remus and Sirius looked as  
  
if the had just seen a two headed person. "Surely you can't be serious!" Remus choked. "I am Sirius. And don't call me Shirley." (sorry, just had to slip  
  
that little pun and movie quote in there! Cookie if you can guess what movie its from!) Sirius's eyes were wide as he joked with Remus. "And NO James,  
  
NO!" he added, turing back to James.  
  
"YES!" James said, cackling. "AHHH!" They two others sprinted back up to the dormitory, where they dashed under their beds. James followed them.  
  
"COME ON!" he pleaded. "No one will know who you are!" The two boys inched farther under the bed. After alot more pleading and begging  
  
that I dont feel like typing about they finally gave in. The next day, Saturday, James tied Remus and Sirius two the post of their beds and forced  
  
Vitawny to work the magic of make-up on them. "Sirius!" She screamed hysterically. "You look so funny with eyeshadow!" Sirius protested thru  
  
his gag and looked at Remus, who raised his eyebrows. By the end of the hour, Remus and Sirius had become Rachel and Shirley. Their eyes were  
  
wide as James showed them themselves in the mirror. Remus suddenly looked like he was hyperventialating, his eyes grew wide and he titled his  
  
head up and shut his eyes. He looked very... odd with eyeliner, maskara, purple eyeshadow and blush on. Vitawny had performed a charm to make  
  
his hair grow long, and he did indeed look very much like a girl. Vitawny, fearing for her boyfriend's sanity, pulled the gag out of his mouth and a blood-  
  
curdling scream was heard throughout the castle. Sirius, whose gag had been removed before, was'nt quite as horrified as Remus. He had gotten  
  
up and was modling in front of the mirror. he also looked.... odd with lip-stick, powder, and eyeshadow on his face. Both of them did look very much  
  
like girls with their robes tied up all the way, so no one would see they were wearing men's clothes.   
  
"Alright, guys, just go out there and sit down beside Lily and her friends, just kinda talk to them and don't forget to talk to Lily about me," James  
  
said, shoving them out the entrance hall doors onto the grounds. The boys, seeing they had no choice, walked out to the big oak tree under which Lily   
  
and her friends Pam, Susan, and Saffire where sitting. "Can we join you?" Remus asked in a high voice. Lily looked as Pam and wrinkled her lip.  
  
"Well, they didn't ask to be born," Pam said softly, to a glare from Siri-I mean- Shirley. "Alright," Lily said, moving over to make spots for them.  
  
"Im Rachel," Remus said, sitting down beside Lily. "And Im Shirley," Sirius added, taking his next to Remus. "Oh, right." Saffire spoke this time. "We   
  
havent seen you before," "You wouldnt have," Sirius said. "We missed the train due to a family death and coulnt get here until today," "We're  
  
cousins," Remus added. "So what are you talking about?" "Welll...." Susan said, looking to Lily. Lily nodded and Susan continued.  
  
"Boys, what else?" Remus and Sirius looked at each other, wanting to raise their eyebrows. "What do you think of that Sirius kid?" Sirius asked   
  
eagerly. "I like him!" Pam burst out, and Sirius exchanged looks with Remus. "He would be fine," Lily chided, "except he hangs out  
  
with that brat James Potter," Seizing his chance, Remus gushed, "Why do you hate him so much? He's not that bad," "Oh yes he is,  
  
just wait 'til you get to know him." They girls continued degrading James until Remus finally, out of annoyance, changed the subject.   
  
"What about Remus? What do you think of him?" he asked. "I personally think he's sexy,"(HAHA okay sorry) he added, grinning inside.  
  
Sirius looked at him, wanting to laugh. "Not as sexy as Sirius," He argued, trying to control his mirth. "Oh yes he is!" Remus argued back.  
  
The girls watched them go back and forth until Lily finally shouted. "OKAY! There both sexy!" and they stopped, grinning.  
  
They spent several more hours sitting and talking with the girls. Back inside, James was getting frustrated. "What the hell is taking them so long?"  
  
He screeched, nervous. "They'll be back soon enough," Vitawny answered, not looking up from her book. As if on que, Rem-I mean-Rachel  
  
and Shirley entered the common room. "What took you so long?" James screamed. "We were, um... we got carried away?" Sirius squeaked,   
  
eager to get away from James. Remus and Sirius grinned, and Vitawny walked over to them. Remus made to kiss his girlfriend, and Vitawny  
  
shoved him away, screeching. "Not right now, that's sick, let me fix you back first! That is wrong! People are going to get the wrong idea!" She ran   
  
around the common room to stares from the first years crowded there and Remus chased her, finally catching her right in front of the fire and kissing her,  
  
to gapes and "eww"'s from the younger children. Vitawny rounded on him and chased him to the steps to the girls dormitory, determined to show  
  
the first years what was really going on. Remus tried to climb the steps, but of course they melted into a slide to even more stares. At that moment Lily  
  
and her friends walked into the common room, seeing "Rachel" failing to get into what was supposedly her dormitory and "Shirley" standing next to James  
  
with no makeup and hair that was getting shorter every second due to a spell from James. "ECK!" They promptly turned around and ran away.   
  
The End cuz I dont wanna write no more. My apologies if that was a perverted sick storie but I couldnt sleep til I wrote it. :) It's not as perverted as some on here... 


	2. Authors Note I am going to continue

Yep, its from airplane. *gives r7skywalker cokkie*  
  
Guess what, I am going to continue! In a weird sorta way... Im going to post "The Deleted Version"  
  
Its gonne be really funny! 


End file.
